Cicadas suck, enormous time. Why? Well for one thing have you ever seen one? They're almost as ugly as cockroaches; almost. And they fly, to hell with insects that fly. I can't stand looking at them. I want to smash smash smash them everytime I see one. In Japan they appear every year, not just every 17 years like in other, normal places. They have a strangle hold on this country. You'd think some birds would want to feast, but no. Birds stay away from them cuz they're hideous.

And what are cicada's most famous for? Making a whole lot of effing noise. Shut the eff up already. And you know why they make all that keEe kee kweea noise for? Yep, you guessed it; they're trying to find a mate. So it's pretty much filth that you're hearing from a cicada's abdominal drums.
Here's a brief translation guide to what cicada's are saying (as only the males make noise, it's pretty dirty):

• Kqeew kqeew = "I have a monstrosity of a cock."
  
• Kgesew kqeews = "Let's have sex in public baby."
  
• Kqeewa kqwaki = "I want to touch your private reproductive organs softly and deftly."
  
• Ee EEE EE kquah = "Don't worry I'll die shortly after we eff, so I'll die for you momma."
  
• Ee EEE EE keequah = "Hard and long right here."
• Kqee kquee = "Hey shorty, let me put my cock in ya."
• Kquee kquee = "I'll smash my balls in your face baby! You know you want 'em"
• Kaaee Keeaa = "Bring your friend too bitch, plenty of monster cock for ya'll."
• Kaque EeE eee = "I won't put it in your arse, I promise."
• 69 = "Sixty-nine!"
• Kawqu EE EE ee! = "Don't make me rape you!

(if you have the Opera web-browser, use the voice function and have it read the translations, it's hilarious)

Pretty filthy them cicadas, huh?

There are actually websites of cicada lovers. Cicado.com is among them.
Have you all gone mad!? Rat-in-a-tin-shit-house-on-a-hot-day-with-a-hungry-rabid-cat-waiting-outside mad?